Oh god, it's so obvious my parents only tolerate each other out of long familiarity, and that they're coasting along because they just can't bother to get divorced. I wish they would get divorced. I think they'd both be happier, in their heart of hearts, and I'd certainly be happier not having to tip-toe around hoping that my father isn't in the mood to yell (literally) at me, or that my mother isn't in the mood to sob out more of our family history. I'd be happier not dreading Christmas every year, a time that is traditionally about love, giving, and happiness. I only know that because I've been told it's so, but I don't think I've had a single truly happy Christmas, knowing that the least thing could destroy the fragile balance between me and my parents.
Maybe I should just enlist; I could theoretically do that, you know, and not get kicked out for my homogayness. I wish I could tell my parents that I would rather risk death half a world away than spend another Christmas with them.
- Emo holiday is emo